"Some of the most beautiful people come in the most unlikely packages"
How to host stinky, hungry
& tired tour cyclists?
IMPORTANT ADDITION
- We eat more than you probably realise. We will need to eat carbs as soon as we arrive, not matter what time of the day it is.
- We eat more than you probably realise. We really do eat a huge breakfast, especially on riding days.
- We eat more than you probably realise. Even on our rest days our bodies crave numerous amounts of pancakes, potatoes and eggs.
Stinky
Yes after riding for a couple of days and probably not having showered we will be sweaty and stinky. I suggest extreme wisdom when contemplating greeting us with a hug. If you are picking us up in your car and driving us for a few hours, kids should come at their own risk and all car windows need to be working.
Before we arrive at your home, you should make sure the shower and washing machine are functioning to full capacity and please make sure there is a clear path from the front door to them both. |
Hungry
Part of our daily routine is idly sitting on our bicycles burning carbs. Be warned we could have the appetite of a teenage rugby team and are likely to totally ignore you whilst ogling your bread bin and potato sack. We suggest that perhaps our first meal be a cheap one with lots of carbohydrates and protein.
Generally speaking we like eating healthy natural food and prefer water and natural juices over sodas. Kel tries to stay away from rice. |
Tired
Yep we will be somewhat tired when we arrive and will probably not quite be ourselves. Tour cyclists find it hard to readjust to 'normality' and can sometimes appear quiet and withdrawn. Don't be alarmed by this, we will come round when fed and watered.
We may need to sleep early on the first night and you should definitely send us to bed early on our last night. Being tired & cranky and cycling does not often produce a good day. |
Clothes Washing
All of our clothes are high performance technical wear. They will be ruined if washed in burning hot water or put in a clothes dryer; fabric softeners also kill them. Please be aware of this.
We cycle with our own clothes lines and usually search for shady places to string them up. Our second priority after showering and before eating, will be washing. This is important to us. |
During our stay
We will probably want to get to a supermarket, an independent bike shop and an REI or good outdoor store. It would be helpful if you knew where these were before we arrive.
If you are one of our many long-term friends, then we will be aware that we may not see you again for quite a few years. Our love language is quality conversational time. |
Leaving
On the morning we leave, we would be blessed with a relatively early European time (9am or earlier if necessary) non-lingering breakfast. Pancakes are always good. Absolutely no breakfast beans, we cannot both ride in front all day.
It would be cool if we could leave with our Thermos and water bottles full and perhaps a banana each. |
Do you really want to host us?
If after all of this, do you still want to host us? If so, you are clearly people up for adventure and we thank you very much.
Gifts
Often our wonderful hosts like to bless us as we leave on our merry way.
Some ideas are
Some ideas are
- Letting us top up our tiny shampoo bottles from your bottle.
- Soap and toothpaste if needed.
- Factor 953 or higher sunscreen.
- AA batteries. My bicycle mapping computer almost uses two of these a day so we need lots.
- Freeze dry meals. REI has a good collection. Click here for examples.
- Chocolate bars and any high energy non-fart food, eg beef jerky. Please no muesli bars.
- Instant porridge in pouches with one or two servings. We eat these every morning. Click her for an example.
- Ground unflavoured coffee. Sadly one of the compromises we have had to make is not taking our coffee grinder with us.
- Coffee filters. Fortunately we have not compromised to instant coffee.
- Treat money – to buy cold drinks, good coffee and special snacks with.
- eBooks suitable for our kindles.
- 50ml (1.76fl.oz bottles of body lotion, face or hand cream. (Screw top if possible)
- Chamois Cream
Thank you, thank you and thank you.
With all this said, if the only things you can offer are a bed and a roof over our heads, we will still be very very grateful. This is a dream list, you are not required to tick all of these boxes.
Adventures
Tour riding is one long solid adventure. When we stay at your home, we will be looking forward to your time, space and company. Staying in homes is a rest for us. Driving us all over your town, province and country is note restful. Please check with us before you plan big adventures for our time.
